Hachnasat orchim (welcoming guests) doesn’t come easily to me…

2 09 2011

Rebbetzin’s Perspective: Class #4

Excerpted from Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller’s Question and Answer series on Naaleh.com

Rebbetzin's Perspective



Hachnasat orchim (welcoming guests) doesn’t come easily to me. When people ask me for a favor my automatic reaction is refusal. How can I become a more giving person?





Some people are extremely social. They dread being alone. You seem to be a person who has an inner life and enjoys order and control. Your middah is gevurah (restraint) rather than chesed (outpouring). Don’t be hard on yourself. Gevurah is just as holy as chesed.


However the Maharal says gevurah is very easily corrupted, so you need to be careful. When you manifest your desire for restraint on other people, instead of using it on yourself, it gets distorted. Invite guests that need an invitation. Don’t host people for the sake of company. Take your eyes off yourself and focus more on others. If you need thinking space, do it when people aren’t around. If someone comes to you for a favor, treat it as an opportunity for self- development. Tell yourself, “This is how I’ll build my chesed and become a more balanced person. This is how my gevurah will be tempered.”


You have to learn to be more spontaneous and giving rather than disciplined and in control. When Hashem sends chesed your way he is really telling you to widen your borders. You’re a person of restraint which is a holy middah. Use your self-control to perfect yourself, but be expansive and giving with others.

Secular Music

27 10 2010
Excerpted from Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller’s Question and Answer series on Naaleh.com

Achieving Balance:  Class #4

I grew up listening to secular music (rock, among other genres) and I still enjoy it. I can’t stand most of the modern Jewish music available.  Do I need to deprive myself of listening to what I like?


I understand what you mean about modern Jewish music, but there’s a lot more out there than you think. I don’t think being frum means depriving yourself. I think we have to be selective. The lives of people involved in secular entertainment are not good lives. It’s not as black and white as you think. Wholesomeness and good-heartedness don’t come from listening to rock. There’s invisible power woven into music that can have both a positive and a deleterious effect on us.

Elevate your musical experience with pure and holy melodies. Listen to real music. I mean the Chassidic melodies of two hundred years ago such as Chabad, Belz, and Breslov. These are classics that are moving and beautiful. Try to get people in yeshiva to record a Simchat Beit Hoshevea or get a cassette of a Simchat Chatan V’kallah. This kind of music is stirring and inspiring and will uplift your soul in a way that secular music never will.

NEW Rebbetzin’s Perspective Class Series

8 09 2009

Rebbetzin’s Perspective II: Questions and Answers for Today’s Jewish Woman

This unique class features Rebbetzin Tzipora Heller answering real questions sent in by Naaleh’s female members across the globe. Rebbetzin Heller continues to address the challenges and struggles encountered by contemporary Jewish women with wisdom, humor, and understanding.

The first installment is NOW available!

Questions and Answers for Today’s Jewish Woman, Part 1

In this Torah shiur (class) Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller responds to real life dilemmas and challenges sent in by Naaleh’s female students around the world.  This class touches on issues such as rewarding children for helpful behavior, dealing with conflicts within a community,  the intertwined destiny of husbands and wives, and understanding korbanot.  Each question is answered with sensitivity and wisdom. This Torah class is available online in streaming video and for download in mp3 and ipod video formats.

Watch a preview of this class:

Torat Imecha: Women’s Torah Weekly at Naaleh.com

19 03 2009

Torat Imecha, the women’s Torah weekly is Naaleh.com’s new free service for women.  Every week, a newsletter full of Torah thoughts and inspiration, based on the Naaleh.com classes, will be available to our students.  Torat Imecha includes columns on the Parsha, Yamim Tovim, practical Hilchot Shabbat, Rebbetzin’s Perspective, and more.
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