How Can I Help My Husband?

1 06 2011

Excerpted from Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller’s Question and Answer series on

Questions and Answers for Today's Jewish Woman, Part 10


My clever, talented, husband is stuck in a dead-end job with very little stimulation and hope for promotion.  I don’t know if Hashem wants him to leave his job, without knowing if he will find something better, or make do with feeling unfulfilled at work.  How can I help him?


If you examine the lives of some of our great leaders, you’ll find that many of them were ordinary craftsmen and shopkeepers. Rashi was a wine merchant, the Ohr Hachaim was a goldsmith, and the Chofetz Chaim ran a grocery. Do you think their work gave them fulfillment? They did it to support their families, which is a noble goal in and of itself. We do not know the end of our life stories. It could be that at this point in your husband’s life he is meant to find satisfaction, like Rashi, in activities outside of work. To make that happen, he will need to organize his day. It could be this is just a transient period in his life. His main test may be withstanding the many nisyonot prevalent in the workplace such as, integrity, judging others favorably, and guarding his eyes. A final possibility could be that he is meant to feel the discontent so that it will propel him to move on to something else. Obviously, he cannot leave his existing job without having a comparable proposition waiting for him. If you can keep your ears open for job possibilities available in his field or other opportunities in which his time could be spent productively when he is not working, that would be a great help.




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