‘Should Children be Rewarded for Doing Chores?’ Rebbetzin Heller’s Response

5 03 2010

Excerpted from Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller’s Question and Answer series on Naaleh.com

www.Naaleh.com

QUESTION:
Is it wrong for me to reward my ten-year old with prizes for helping around the house and watching the baby? Am I raising her level of expectation in gashmiyut that way? If so, what alternatives do you recommend?

ANSWER: It’s a marvelous idea to reward your daughter for helping. Much better than having to spend money on a counselor to find out what to do with a child who is not cooperating. Certainly you shouldn’t expect a ten-year old to do things for purely altruistic reasons. However, be careful not to reward her completely consistently. From time to time, ask her to do small chores or errands and don’t reward her for it. This way when you do get her something, she will see it as a prize or reward and not as payment. As she gets older, at around twelve or thirteen, try to reward her less frequently and steer her more towards kavod. Eventually she’ll reach a point where she herself will realize that it’s foolish to expect a reward constantly, especially for chores that she would be expected to do in any case.

Advertisements

Actions

Information

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: