‘I know intellectually that my role is to be a wife and mother…Yet I still feel unfulfilled’ Rebbetzin Heller is here to help!

28 08 2009

Rebbetzin’s Perspective: Balancing Life’s Challenges

This unique class features Rebbetzin Tzipora Heller answering real questions sent in by Naaleh’s female members across the globe. Rebbetzin Heller addresses the challenges and struggles encountered by contemporary Jewish women with wisdom, humor, and understanding.

This past week the following question came in:

I know intellectually that my role is to be a wife and mother, but I often get stuck in the shallow and superficial aspects of it. I try to listen to at least one shiur a day, I’m involved with different self- growth groups, and I am busy with different chasadim.  Yet I still feel unfulfilled. What can I do to make sure that I am maximizing my spiritual potential and that when I go to sleep at night I don’t feel that it was just a meaningless day?

Rebbetzin Heller’s Answer:

You’re doing everything right, but for some reason the spiritual messages you’re getting are not sinking into your life.  I would advise you to switch the topic of your shiur to something with penimius that will affect your attitude. Studying Chassidus such as Nesivos Sholom, is a good start. Here you will find that when you learn about ahavat reyim it will effect actual changes in your interaction with your friends, children and husband. Alternatively, if you prefer something more challenging, I would suggest studying the first Maamar in Likutei Maharan.  Not for the sake of intellectual stimulation, but to help you refocus on the way you look at things. Let the learning flow down to who you really are when you are sorting laundry or checking rice.  Your soul, mind, emotions, and actions should all ideally be on the same page. This was the level Yaakov Avinu reached and this is why he was called “Ish Tam“. Try to step away out of yourself and see the beauty and preciousness in the little things in life. For example, when you are feeding a baby, don’t try to finish quickly so you can get on to the next thing. Revel in the fact that you have a baby, that he can eat, and that he is delighting in his food. Realize that the light that you see here comes from a single Source, which is the Power that energizes everything. Focus on the depth and intricacies of creation and its subtle meaning. Internalizing the inner meaning of Torah will help you discover fresh profundity and purpose in your life.

To listen to the rest of this class cession, click here: Questions and Answers for Today’s Jewish Woman, Part 15 The rest of the class Rebbetzin Heller addresses questions about moving to Israel, giving mussar to a friend in a delicate way, and breaking out of destructive patterns in marriage.

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